"I didn't know where else to come," I said as the lights turned on, sitting at the desk that used to be mine. "I....I'm sorry, I'll leave. It's just when I was here," she said pointing at the desk, "I knew everything, I knew what would happen ten minutes from now, I knew what happened one hundred years ago, perhaps more importantly I knew I was grounded. There is no more solid ground," she said with a long sigh, "and I don't know what to do with that."
"I haven't seen him in ten months," she continued, "I got him back, I was on top of Mundus, and again, I don't know if I'm a single mother or if my husband is on some mission he couldn't divulge the details of to me for who knows what reason. This time," she paused, "I don't know if he'll be found. Hell, I don't know if there's even a mission, simply waking up one day in Bakkermaya to him being gone. Then the next day came, the day after, the week after....and I'm alone again, taking care of Josiah on my own."
"I didn't break in," she said with a grin, "No one thought to change the key once I went to Seaforth, it was so nice back then. I had my fairytale, and when he came back it was so hard, but so rewarding. I had my Prince again, but I had to hurt someone I came to love in his absence to be with him again, I didn't ask for that," she lowered her head. "I can't be blamed for that though, he is the father of our son, but I did want us to work, so much did I desire that."
"But," she shrugged, "I guess I got what I deserved for that. Joshua is gone without word, the Bakkermayans are tight lipped, I got what I deserved for hurting you. If I were stronger I'd have told Joshua I was a different person than I was when he left, but I wasn't that strong, and so I let you down. If I could go back, it would be different but such thoughts don't matter now, do they? I thought I made the best choice for Josiah and, in the end, I just left him with me, and I guess I have to hope I'm enough."
"If I could take one thing back, just one act, I'd have stayed with you," she said as she walked to the door. "But we don't get to take our actions back, do we? Once made, they are what determines our course, but damn the Seven Divine if I didn't wish I had stayed by your side and weathered the storm that would have come. Even though I never stopped loving you, what is done is done and there's nothing I can do to change it, is there...? But, even if it's only for Josiah, please don't be a stranger."
With those words Evanthe lifted herself from her former chair and made her way to the door. Whether or not she would be stopped, at least she knew her thoughts and words had finally been conveyed.
