Malcolm Tucker, Royal Press SecretaryIt was a typical quiet day in the Royal Events office, the King was off at a cabinet meeting all day so there was nothing to really organise apart from making sure he finished in time to get to his daughters end of year school performance at 4pm. The main focus was on the Ostlake Games, invites to events hosted by King David and Princess Freya were being checked and double checked before being sent and the three office staff where focused on checking lists of names when the door burst open. "Who the hell let this crazy bitch in" he had four copies of
Gossip Daily tucked under his arm and proceeded to throw them at the unsuspecting office staff. "Do any of you morons remember who the hell Erin Osman is?" he looked around before throwing his final copy hard at the nearest of the office staff. "Allow me to remind you....she's the personification of a leak....mainly because she can't keep her legs shut but that's beside the point. You literally may as well have just opened the Palace gates to every news rag on Mundus as invite that bitch" he was yelling. "I'm now going to have to spend the day mopping up literally a hurricane of piss."
"Does that mean we should take her off the Military Games Ball guest list" one of the aides asked nervous.
"Holy shite" Malcolm exclaimed spinning on his heels as he had been preparing to leave. "Who the hell is drawing up these lists, the bloody Barrens?" he asked rhetorically referring to the Borlanders so called royal family. "Don't you think the King's had enough grief from these religious fruitcakes of the Sisterhood....I mean what is that, sounds like an orgy club for lesbians or something" he noticed one of the events staff chuckle. "It's not funny, you try spending an hour listening to the media literally going through every mammal with a face the Kings meet in the last twelve months and asking if he's shagged it" he snapped yelling at the chuckler. "Now you are going to look at every list and remove her, you are then going to double check the lists and remove anyone she's even a tiny bit pally with and should she somehow get through or someone gives her any details on the events, even if its what colour socks the King wears then all of you are for the chop......and I don't mean the sack I mean I will literally chop your lady bollocks off" he glared at them. "Now get it done." He turned and headed out back towards his own office his phone going as he did so, in a well practiced motion he flicked the button to answer it "Tucker" he said sternly. "Oh piss off" he yelled into the phone before hanging up on Gossip Daily once more.
"Going well then Dad" his daughter
Erin was waiting by the entrance to his own office. Instantly Malcolm's demener changed and he hugged his eldest daughter warmly.
"Oh you know, surrounded by retards" he put an arm around her and guided her into his office two doors down from the King. "When did you get into town?" he asked her as he sat her down and headed to his own seat with its back to the Palace's lake. Erin Tucker had been named one of the embassy team for Lodja and while Sir Simon Hall lived on the Isle of the Goddess it was Erin who was left at the embassy in Gaia. She rather enjoyed Lodja, it was an interesting place to live and rather lively, unlike Sir Simon she wasn't automatically involved in the high class end of society, after all her father was just a press secretary and carried no noble blood, but even as a Pleb in Lodja it was a fun city to live in and her embassy role gave her significant privilege that few doors were closed to her.
"So what you telling the press?" Erin asked as she waited for her Dad to pour her that wine she knew was coming despite it being early in the morning. As the glass of red was slide across the desktop she took it and raised a glass in his direction as he did likewise.
"Usual flannel. We've bigger fish to fry than this nothing." Malcolm swung his feet up to place them on the edge of the desk. His phone rang again, he checked the number, recognised it as a trash journalist and muted it. "Give it a week and they'll have the King shagging someone else whose the flavour on the month"
"It true" Erin said confidently and noticed a raised eyebrow from her father. "Oh yeah, every time he visits Lodja they are always together, she's seen coming and going from his room. Line of women a mile long waiting to dance with him at the coronation but only dances with Stasya. It's one of the most open secrets in the Lodjain court." she chuckled, it wasn't often her father wasn't first to know something.
"Sly bastard" was all Malcolm could say almost admiringly, "Well he's done well for himself. So guess we better prepare for more of this." he picked up his phone, cancelled the in coming call and tapped away. "Aye Steve" he was on the phone to his deputies, "Tell the media the next twat he prints about the festival rumours wins a prize.......they win a big barrel of never getting past the palace gates again......I don't know tell them the King doesn't like the way they invade Rhiannon's privacy that usually works short of that just tell them I would make it a point to destroy them......that'll do Steve. That'll do." He was confident his ever dangling hook of access to the royal family would, for the time being, get the media to take the rumour off the front pages for a week or two. "Now, do you think I could shoot Erin Osman?" he asked his daughter who just smiled along with her father at the thought of the simple solution that was clearly beyond his means. "Do me a favour" Malcolm said as after twenty minutes of catch up with his daughter she headed for the door. "Davey boy gets randy in Lodja again you give me a heads up?" his daughter nodded and left heading to find her driver to head back to Lodja to resume her duties and her new ones as a spy for her father.
